is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
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