ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize