Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
