i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
