hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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