So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
