I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Dicks are not precious.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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