If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
