My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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