When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have a little drunk in my system
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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