why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
