Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
my liver is dry heaving
Randomize
