I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
