I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
this hospital has no fireball
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
