There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
