At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
