It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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