Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
