im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
