maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
