Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
