So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
try to milk me bitch
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