Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize