awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize