R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
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We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
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I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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