Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
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