That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize