Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
