Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
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