Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
