I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm bleeding and have questions
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
