We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
