How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
