drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize