I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
