have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
you had me at cake vodka
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
