well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
