shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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