I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
My cat gives me a boner
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
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