I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
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I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
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He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid