So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.