Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  dude, i look like john mccains neck right now

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  (818): dude, i look like john mccains neck right now http://tfl.nu/y0kt
  Replies (5) Good night (424) Bad night (1116) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess

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  (847): Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess http://tfl.nu/s4vr
  Replies (7) Good night (795) Bad night (3703) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...

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  (704): so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie... http://tfl.nu/pw66
  Replies (40) Good night (1185) Bad night (5856) Order T-Shirt
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.

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  (763): I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like. http://tfl.nu/kktd
  Replies (9) Good night (732) Bad night (3542) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk

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  (949): hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk http://tfl.nu/17n5
  Replies (7) Good night (1142) Bad night (3672) Order T-Shirt
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.

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  (701): I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships. http://tfl.nu/filq
  Replies (12) Good night (3726) Bad night (1031) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me

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  (703): i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me http://tfl.nu/jgjv
  Replies (8) Good night (4201) Bad night (871) Order T-Shirt
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  (626): View more from California

  I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.

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  (626): I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well. http://tfl.nu/o4bp
  Replies (16) Good night (1009) Bad night (2256) Order T-Shirt
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  (903): View more from Texas

  Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.

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  (903): Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand. http://tfl.nu/dh2g
  Replies (13) Good night (2387) Bad night (1277) Order T-Shirt
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.

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  (709): i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk. http://tfl.nu/5r6v
  Replies (4) Good night (2549) Bad night (932) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.

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  (503): I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else. http://tfl.nu/cpkz
  Replies (11) Good night (3344) Bad night (460) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.

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  (248): I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home. http://tfl.nu/2kup
  Replies (1) Good night (1312) Bad night (364) Order T-Shirt
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.

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  (413): Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life. http://tfl.nu/hq06
  Replies (5) Good night (889) Bad night (327) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted

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  (402): Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted http://tfl.nu/8l0y
  Replies (5) Good night (1290) Bad night (325) Order T-Shirt
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?

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  (586): Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right? http://tfl.nu/hfcq
  Replies (1) Good night (349) Bad night (243) Order T-Shirt

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