Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.