who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.