woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize