You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
