i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
