OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
