p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
