I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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