tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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