apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize