the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
ugly people sure do ruin things
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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