Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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