At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
