I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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