I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Randomize
