he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
