everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
