I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
