he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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