So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
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