I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
