So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
