next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
