i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
