Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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