wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
