I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Boobs speak an international language.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
