Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
