Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize