it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
