Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
